Girl before a Mirror

There is a Hindi film called “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara”, one of my favorite films. In the film there is a dialogue “Sach hota kya hai, har ek apna apna version hota hai sach ka” which loosely means who knows what the truth is, doesn’t everyone believe their side of the story to be the truth anyway. I love this and I often look back to it when I am deliberating whether I should express my feelings about a situation to the person in front of me or not. And basis experience, I have realized that no matter what I say, usually the person would only look at the situation from their perspective since their mind isn’t open to hear a different thought process, let alone consider it 🙂 But what happens when the person in front of you is YOU.

This painting “Girl before a Mirror” by the great Pablo Picasso is at the Museum of Modern Art, NYC (MoMA) for display. I had the chance to see this painting up close in Jul’24. At first, its the dramatic colors that drew me in, then the vivid shapes and both the human figures which are somehow made to fit into this small space, that caught my attention. On looking closely you observe a girl on the left seeing her reflection in the mirror i.e. the figure on the right. The reflection doesn’t fully look like the girl – the colors used are darker, the body shape is slightly different, the face is leaner – look at the nose its more sharper, the face somehow seems smaller in the reflection. So, why is the reflection this different, what is Picasso trying to tell us through this painting?

Well, there are many art enthusiasts who have interpreted this painting in their own way, which you can read about on the internet. And I suggest you do, because its interesting and it would you give you a varied perspective. I see this girl with two faces – the left side which is lavender represents her outer self i.e. the “proper” side she shows to the world. Whereas the right side of the face which is yellowish represents her inner self – the insecurities which she doesn’t show. This bit in the painting implies the duality that we all live with – outer vs inner self. Yet, when she sees herself in the mirror she doesn’t see either of these sides. To me the girl in the reflection looks tired; tired of the different faces she has to put on everyday. The reflection seems darker like there is a lot of weight that she has been carrying around which has diminished her aura. To me, the girl sees the her true self in the mirror.

No matter, how many faces we put on everyday. No matter, how much we pretend to be okay when we are not. No matter, how much we convince ourselves that we are fine. Mirrors don’t lie. They show us the truth at all times. They show us the swollen eyes, sad smile, tiniest of the wrinkles, greying hair, constantly changing body structure, the stress that has found its way to latch onto our mind and body, pain, loneliness, darkness – literally every God damn thing. But how many times have we stopped to really see ourselves in the mirror? How many times have we heard the truth that our reflection is trying to tell us? It is easier to say “Sach hota kya hai, har ek apna apna version hota hai sach ka” to a third person and walk away. But how do you say that to YOURSELF?

I am exhausted of pretending I am okay all the time. I am tired of wearing this “All is Well” mask. I am human – there are good days and there are bad days. And I own up to them all. When I see myself in the mirror, I see the truth and I embrace it. If I am not feeling okay – physically, mentally or emotionally, then I am not feeling okay. It doesn’t mean I would create a nuance for those around me or that I wouldn’t do the basis tasks I am supposed to do. But I would step back, go into my space, not engage with outside world if I don’t want to, take my time to respond to people, work on myself and bounce back – only when I want to and I can. In the interim, those who love me enough would understand and those who don’t understand – well, relationships evolve with time and I hope people do too 🙂 It has taken me years of healing to realize that the only person I need to have the strongest relationship is that person in the mirror. Which means I need to look at myself in the mirror, see what my reflection is showing me and hear what my reflection is telling me. We need to embrace that person in the mirror – no matter how they look or feel. Because it is still you, all of that gorgeous mess is still You 🙂

Disclaimer: I am neither an Art or an English expert, this post is my interpretation and understanding of the painting. It is just an expression of my feelings. The intent of the post is not to critic the art or the artist, no offense is intended.